Hindi, Arranged Marriages and Time to Relax

I can't believe it's already been a month since we left. Time's gone by extremely fast for me. I remember that before we left all I was thinking about was that I just wanted to get back to Mountain View. I wanted it to seem like a book, where it says "9 months later" and you flip a page and you go forward in time. I wanted it to speed by really fast so I could be back home. Now I realize that I want to soak it all up, to get the full experience of this trip. Don't get me wrong, I don't want it to go agonizingly slowly either, kind of fast but to be able to take it all in. It's already been a great experience and I have learned a lot and matured (I think.) I have even learned a little bit of Hindi. Very little, but I can introduce myself and greet people. Aap kay se ho? That means, "How are you?" It makes me appreciate that I grew up with two languages because it's hard and complicated to learn new ones. Anyway, I've enjoyed being here, things aren't that crazy anymore. I've learned a lot but there's still eight months to go to keep growing and maturing.  So, even though I miss home I want to experience these eight months head on.    

I’ve learned that in India, women don’t get the freedom of choosing who they are going to marry. Their parents choose someone for them, sometimes without a say from their daughter. It can be sad because women might just be waiting to see who their parents choose for them. That actually doesn’t happen often, usually the daughter gets a small say, but still back home it is nothing like that at all. Now, the man doesn’t get that much more of a choice. His parents give him some options and he chooses between the options. A lot of times when he comes of age his parents put some kind of resume in the newspaper, then some other family puts a resume on their daughter and the guy gets to choose which of the ones to marry of the ones that responded. People also marry very early. One of the women in the women’s empowerment program got married at 13! Some of the Young Dreamers might actually have been married if they hadn’t been going to school. Going to college actually saved one of the girls from getting married against her will. Another thing that is really sad and unjust is that their whole life women are told what to do. First it’s their father, but as soon as they get married they get turned over to their husband. The husband says everything they have to do. Men kind of control their life. Imagine having to ask your husband, “Can I go to work today?” Or, “Can I go to the store?” It’s not just letting them know where you’re going, it’s genuinely asking for permission to do stuff. That’s why we have the women empowerment program, so that women learn and have confidence in themselves so they can stand up for themselves.

Last Friday, we had a rest and relaxation day. It's meant to let everyone have a break.  We went to a hotel that had a spa with the volunteers. There was a pool, a jacuzzi, a steam room, a sauna, a massage room and game room. I mostly stuck to the pool, which was huge, though only 5 feet deep, and the game room, which had a ping pong table and carrom board. My mom and the volunteers had massages and they said they were different than home, but they really liked them. The jacuzzi was also interesting, it was basically a bathtub with luke warm water and jets above the surface. Not until we got there did they fill it up so when I got in it was at my shins. None of us went in the steam room or sauna. Just being outside was our sauna. Two of the girls got pedicures there, but they didn't get their nails painted, which I think is pretty weird for a pedicure. That's what we're learning here, a lot is different, but we can still like it. It's amazing how there's such a contrast of things in India. Just the day before we were in a slum helping set up a hygiene campaign and then we're sitting in a pool and drinking a peach sunrise. The place was interesting, and it felt really good to just hang out at the pool and play ping pong. It certainly was a relaxing day which what all of us needed, a day to ourselves.